A/C

(While riding in our black Jeep during a blasted hot summer's day)

Josh: Ahh! It's so hot.
Jordan: I know, man.
Josh (turning the A/C knob): Should I do this?
Jordan: It doesn't work, does it?
Josh: No. It sucks that this doesn't have air.
Jordan (feeling the air leaving the vents): Does it just do hot air?
Josh: No, we don't have air, so it just blows.
(Jordan laughs, then Josh when it hits him.)

Baseball

Jordan: I just thought of a new status idea.
Josh: Is it funny?
Jordan: Yeah, it is: Baseball for homeschoolers.
Josh (cutting Jordan off, laughing): Yeah, that is funny.

I Really Like Beethoven

(I got a bunch of new CD's from Goodwill, as I often do, and I showed them to Josh.)

[Jordan sets stack of CD's on table]
Jordan: I got these at Goodwill.
Josh: Dang!
Jordan: It's not as "dang" as you think.
Josh: Cool - Stellar Kart. Ew, Beethoven, Bach--gross.
Jordan (in a mocking tone): Millions of people like these guys, but I don't. Get me Katy Perry; I want to listen to Usher. (resume normal tone) These guys were insane creators of music.
Josh: Well, they didn't create music.
Jordan: Yeah, they did.
Josh: They didn't really create music--I mean, people before them did. But they did make some of the best  music ever.
Jordan: By "create" I meant they made music, not invented it.
Josh: Oh, yeah -- that's what I meant.
Jordan: These guys make babies smarter.
Josh (laughing): I thought you were gonna say, "These guys make babies."
Jordan (also laughing): Beethoven makes me horny.
[pause in dialogue for fits of laughter]
Jordan: I wish this wasn't so inappropriate, because I want to put it on facebook.
Josh: Ha ha. Yeah.
Jordan: I kind of want to anyway.

Ten-feet Tall Tyler

(Our neighbor, Tyler, hit his growth spurt recently, and his voice deepened. Due to severe weather and the absence of his parents, he was supposed to visit our house for a while. The following conversation ensued.)

 Jordan: Tyler's coming over? Sweet! I haven't seen him since he got all (deep voice), "Hey, I'm Tyler and I'm 10 feet tall."
Josh (totally serious): No, he's not that tall.
*pause, then a burst of laughter*

THE Zipline

(While playing Call of Duty: Black Ops on one of the new maps with our cousin Ben, Josh discovers a zipline. The following conversation is about said zipline.)

Josh: Hey, it's a zip line!

Ben: You can use it.

Josh: I know, it says, "Use zipline."

Jordan: "Use the zipline."

Josh: It says "the"? 

Jordan: Yeah, it does.

Josh: Oh yeah, it does.