Similarities

(In our dorm room)

Josh: I'm about to go to dinner.
Jordan: Me, too. We have so much in common! Well, that and blood...

Shirts

(As Josh puts on a new shirt...)

Josh: Man, is this a girl's shirt?

Jordan: That's not a girl's shirt. I've worn a girl's shirt before. When I got I asked mom is it was, but she said it wasn't. But then I tried it on, and she was like, "Yeah, that's a girls shirt." Everything was really tight except for--" *pats chest* "--right here.

Josh: Man, you need to grow some bigger boobs.

Jordan: ...big boobs...

Josh: Why the heck did you just say "big boobs"?

Jordan: I don't know...

Sleepwalking

[Watching The Office - Michael Scott makes an idiot of himself while doing a Meryl Streep impression.]

Josh: Is he sleepwalking?
Jordan: No, he's an idiot.

Hot

(After watching a lot of Red Vs. Blue late at night...)

Jordan: Just one more.
Josh: No.
Jordan: Just one.
Josh: Noooo.
Josh: Man, this computer is hot.
Jordan: Your face is hot.
Josh: Your mom is hot.

Call of What?

(Josh has been playing Call of Duty: Black Ops for a while while recording gameplay for a montage. We've already discussed how montages are basically when the player isn't sucking, and how they sacrifice actualy performance for cool stunts.)

Jordan: You could almost make a YouTube channel to spoof video game montages, like fail montages. Or you could make montages called "What You Actually Do in Video Games the Majority of the Time."
Josh: Yeah, you could.
Jordan: You'd shorten the titles, of course. And you could do that for a bunch of different games. Like you could do Call of Doodoo--
[Fits of laughter]
Josh: That's hilarious.
[More fits of laughter]
Jordan: I don't know what's funnier - that I accidentally said "doodoo" or that we're laughing at it.
[Even more fits of laughter]
Jordan: Besides it's already called Call of Duty. (Doody.)

A/C

(While riding in our black Jeep during a blasted hot summer's day)

Josh: Ahh! It's so hot.
Jordan: I know, man.
Josh (turning the A/C knob): Should I do this?
Jordan: It doesn't work, does it?
Josh: No. It sucks that this doesn't have air.
Jordan (feeling the air leaving the vents): Does it just do hot air?
Josh: No, we don't have air, so it just blows.
(Jordan laughs, then Josh when it hits him.)

Baseball

Jordan: I just thought of a new status idea.
Josh: Is it funny?
Jordan: Yeah, it is: Baseball for homeschoolers.
Josh (cutting Jordan off, laughing): Yeah, that is funny.